Happy New Year to you my lovely reader and devoted fan. I would like to begrudgingly thank the portly red tabby for stepping up to the plate last month as I was wrongly put in 'blog jail' for what the legal team called "unacceptable ranting". His last blog can be found here. My first new blog was originally going to be called "New Year, Same Me" but the threat of further censorship caused me to reconsider.
Since the last blog and beside vocally protesting my innocence there has been a lot happening in my world. You may wonder how I fit 16 hours of sleep in and have an exciting life and to be honest, I do wonder that also.
The house servants as you know had put myself and Iggy under house arrest after he had decided to continue his foray into fight club (he still doesn't talk about it). We did spend our 8 hours awake vocalising our views on this but it fell on deaf ears. So we did something we have never done before, we teamed up to slowly break the hoomans.
We have tried tripping them up on the stairs, waking them up at all hours of the night with erronious noises and having extended zoomies around the house whilst they are concentrating on work or television programmes. None of this seemed to work. Then... Iggy came up with a plan and by jove it only jolly well worked! He decided one day to wait until they had changed the bedding and jumped up and had a little tinkle on the cover. I have no idea what a thread count is but it must have been high by the raised voices.
The phrase "That's enough" was hollered by the servants and before we knew it, our incarceration came to an end. Unfortunately for them, we didn't really want to go out because it was so cold out there. That seemed to send the hoomans into an absolute frenzy. What a win!!
This morning I decided I was going to go for my daily breakfast tour of the other hooman houses. I have previously mentioned that the servants only feed me on their timetable and not mine, this means that I have a massive gap between mealtimes and so I suppliment this with my fans around my area. However, I was greeted by this horrible white stuff surrounding me. I haven't seen this stuff before and if I'm honest, I didn't really care for it. I started to trot towards Auntie Jane's house but was stunned to the core by how cold this white stuff was on my delicate little paws. My hoomans thought it was hilarious that I would come running back in and jump straight onto my radiator bed to warm up and for that I'm planning a new level of vengeance!
I have also been asked by my legal team to mention that the physical shop is sadly shut as it is not essential. However, the house staff are still operating a local delivery and mail order option from the website. They will be doing this on a Monday, Wednesday and Saturday with a cut-off point of 12noon on the day. The snowy weather may cause delays in delivery dates because they have a rubbish car (snicker, snicker)
There is now a new section on the website called "New Products" which showcases fresh shiny things in the shop. It will also have returning products in it as well as they come back into stock.
Pedigree Siamese and the most important and beautiful creature to walk the planet.