I have been asked by Cousin Herbert and his human servants to provide you with an update in leiu of his own postings, currently under review by the ASA for the illegal sale of catnip to innocent kittens; I'm sure these charges will be dropped in due course, but for now I am here to entertain you. If you want to see Herbert's previous blog, please click here.
My name is Chester Peanut Von Landray, a descendent of the house of Landray who has maintained his academic roots, unlike my louder brother Casper who still insists on throwing parties in the early hours of the morning. As an academic, I feel it is my duty to bring culture to this humble blog, therefore I have composed a small poem in light of this "Panda Mick" malarkey; do enjoy, I hope it helps other felines realise that they are not alone in the torment they are experience from their ever-present humans:
Alone at last upon my perching place,
away from prying eyes and playful fiends
I watch and wait, in woe and in disgrace.
The humans home from work or so it seems.
Ne'er have I beholden such a fuss
As I gaze across my cold domain,
Icy weather leaves my fur amuss
As snow sets in and there it shall remain.
Now the feeding hour begins again,
With turkey, treats and gelotine within.
My waiters wait for work, to leave there den
Yet here they will remain till it begins.
One day peace shall reign upon my home,
Till then I rest here, silent as a gnome.
Inspiring is it not? I decided to write a delightful sonnet in recognition of the famous feline William Shakespurr, though I'm sure my uncultured siblings will claim he was a human - bah! Any cat worth their salt knows no human could write such wonderful poetic works as Romeow and Juliet!
I leave you with this final piece of wisdom, though our days may be cold and our world filled with drudgery, let us remember that this time we have with our humans will not last, soon they will return to work wearing those pieces of fancy fabric across their feeding holes and we will be free to plot and scheme their demise once more.
The humans have been having a bit of a move around in the shop (the layout, not a game of twister) and are going to be increasing their range of incense. This will mean there are going to be some fantastic new scents to fill your space in the very near future. In the meantime, you can see which incenses are currently available by clicking here.
Yours with grace and decorum,
Chester Peanut Von Landray I
Academic, Philosopher and Part-Time Salem Cosplayer.